A Humbling Reality Check

Before I write any more posts about what we do (or plan to do) as a family, it is ultra-important to me that anyone who reads this blog knows the truth of our reality.  [You probably remember that I’m not very good at cooking and cleaning? Yes, I’m much better at making big messes and ordering pizzas.  But I am trying very hard right now to actually cook supper on a regular basis. I still use a microwave way too much, but my excuse is that I’m still in the “grammar stage.”]

Here’s my disclaimer (one of them, anyway):  I rave about certain things because we absolutely love them, but that does not mean that you should love them, too.  I’m just a curriculum addict, especially when it comes to unit studies. We just like ’em a lot.

But if all you can focus on is the 4Rs in the early elementary years…

1. Reading
2. wRiting
3. aRithmetic
4. Recitation

… it will all work out!

What do I mean? Well, last year… was a humbling experience.  At the beginning of the year, I had grandiose plans, but then life happened.  Unfortunately, we started out the year over-involved in soccer, 4-H, cubscouts, piano lessons, two full-day tutorials, Essentials, Titus 2 mom meetings, and other things I can’t even remember right now.  We were already down to only 2-3 days of school-at-home per week because of our busy schedule.

And then my ophthalmologist said I should have eye surgery after struggling with Map Dot Dystrophy for a year-and-a-half.  [For those wondering what Map Dot Dystrophy is, the surface of my eyes would not stay attached to the basement membrane – the corneas would tear off repeatedly resulting in what I’d call very-much-pain.]

So… for about two months we lost another day per week as we scheduled multiple pre-op appointments in preparation for the removal of the surface layers of both eyes.  [For those in Essentials, imagine doing your entire week’s worth of Essentials assignments in just 1-2 days. every. single. week. aack! Talk about snuffing out the joy in our homeschool!]

Needless to say, all my grandiose plans were ON HOLD.  We reverted to:  Reading, wRiting, aRithmetic and Recitation. We spent a lot of time on Recitation just by listening to audio CDs in the car, since we were driving several hours per week.

The surgery on my eyes put me out many days before surgery… and after surgery.  And there was an extended period of recovery time that I struggled to even read large print in a book.  I had to ask our oldest son to take over the books I normally read aloud due to the strain.  It took me much longer than expected to recover.  I felt like I would never be able to see normally again – and that my eyes would always burn, that my tear film would never re-establish itself, and that my eyes would continue to dry out constantly.  [But fast-forward 6 months, and God has healed me – not only from Map Dot Dystrophy, but I also now have 20/20 vision for the first time in almost 30 years! Friends, this has been an amazing journey!]

After the initial recovery, we had other stuff:  an unexpected death in the family, extra out-of-town trips that threw our school schedule off even more, just a bunch of stuff.

In short, we overbooked ourselves and then life overbooked us even more.

Essentials was the only thing we finished each week, but it was not without MUCH stress and frustration. (I do not recommend trying to cram your at-home Essentials assignments into 3 or less days per week. Especially if you have a perfectionist child who wants to do everything his tutor mentioned.)  We never even started our Latin curriculum last year. Although we did our math assignments, we didn’t actually finish our math books last year. As far as unit studies or other activities, we only did one week’s worth of “digging deeper” when we studied the atmosphere.  Just one week.

Last year when life interrupted, we simply emphasized skills, not content. We didn’t “dig in deeper” but fell back to the 4Rs for a season. And despite our year of setbacks, our children still learned even without digging in deeper. (Let me insert here, though, that oftentimes the digging-in deeper is needed because the student wants to dig in deeper. Don’t let go of the wonder in your homeschool just because you feel like you’re not being classical enough. A classical education begins with wonder that leads to work that leads to wisdom that leads to worship! Remember to do what’s best for your children regardless of what others say!)

I share this just to let you know, if you see our lists of links, or you see our reading plans, or you see our curriculum choices, or you see our notebook, or you see our obsession with Homeschool in the Woods, and you think, “Whoa! This woman is crazy!” Well… of course I am.  You all know that.

But no matter what we plan to do, we fall back onto what is necessary. That is the reality – Not the short glimpses you see in a post of how a certain activity went. It’s imperative that you know that not every day is like that around here. Some days I am in survival mode. In fact, some days I have even been too blind to take care of myself, much less my own family.

I’ll mention now what I learned last year, mainly as a reminder to myself.  Give yourself some wiggle room (don’t cram your schedule too full!).  Make your plans and goals but don’t hold yourself or your family to hard-set expectations. Choose enjoying your children over trying to get ahead, or trying to memorize everything, or trying to make everything fun.  Don’t compare yourself to another. Do what’s best for your family, your teaching style, and your circumstances (no matter what you see someone else doing).  And, most of all, remain flexible [and be still] as you trust the Lord in all things.

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it’s the Lord’s purpose that prevails.  Proverbs 19:21
[His] love… reaches to the heavens, [His] faithfulness to the skies.  (Psalm 36:5)

Past thoughts and ramblings:

• Do you feel discouraged?  Read In Times of Discouragement
• Do you feel inadequate?  Read If You’re Not Sure You Measure Up
• Are you struggling with feelings of failure?  Read When Failure Becomes Success
• Are you frustrated with planning?  Read Improving Our Vision
• Are you struggling with balancing life?  Read A Great Balancing Act
• Do you harbor feelings of fear? [Are you finding it difficult to trust God?]  Read From the Heart or Down to the River

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, let me know if you’d like me to pray for you! I really will!