Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it?
I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. -Isaiah 43:18-19
These are the hardest words I’ve ever written on this website. It’s taken me several months to gather the courage to share what’s happening in our family. To know that we hold the power of life and death in the tongue – and that our world can shatter as a result of what I’m about to write right now – has kept me fear-paralyzed for a long time.
I probably should care that much about everything I say.
I guess this is different in that I feel more vulnerable than ever. In the words of David, I wish I could wholeheartedly say…
In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? (Psalm 56:11)
… but I feel weak and inadequate and fearful. Nevertheless, I know God has led us here and that He wants us to share our story. That is how I’ve finally gained the courage to forge ahead to share our real lives with you once again.
Our family participated in a Classical Conversations community for several years. Serving in many capacities throughout those years, we supported the mission, method, and model of Classical Conversations as advocates of the program. We heavily invested ourselves into our local community and beyond, helping other families along their homeschool journeys as much as possible. Our family’s mission has always been to help other families in their homeschool endeavors, and we’re genuinely grateful for the opportunity to have been a part of others’ lives in this way.
At the end of last school year, we felt God’s strong urging to leave Classical Conversations. The program had become an idol in our lives, and we felt a deep conviction that we needed to seek God’s will before moving forward. We had poured so much of ourselves into the program that it was drawing us away from each other and away from God. We had arrived at a place where we kept blindly following a system instead of listening to God’s leading, and we needed a break from the rush to be able to hear Him.
In short, we came face to face with the realization that we had been force-fitting ourselves into a program without regard to the effects it was having on our children or our family. We didn’t fully see the effects of what we were doing until our oldest son came to the end of Challenge I. To witness such a caring and diligent person so broken was heart-wrenching. Over the three years he was in Challenge, he increasingly withdrew into his own world of academics and seemed to lose his identity in the process of keeping up with the academic workload. He was left with very little time for service, for cultivating personal interests, or for pursuing God’s will for his life. The dynamics of his particular Challenge class limited the opportunity for him to develop meaningful friendships there (Socratic dialogue and dialectic discussions with his classmates were, in fact, few and far between), and because of the demands of Challenge, he found it difficult to develop friendships outside of our community. Our son’s loneliness at the end of last year was devastating.
From an academic perspective, he felt that he hadn’t really accomplished anything of true value even though he had devoted so much of his efforts into his studies. Overall, the curriculum/course of study was disjointed and uninspiring, and it certainly did not challenge him to know God and make Him known. Although there were a few bright spots in the year, he spent most of his time and energy on learning endeavors that weren’t really worth the time investment. It was disappointing that he worked so hard and invested so much of himself and still walked away feeling that he didn’t really succeed at anything. We so wanted the utopian ideal of what we thought Challenge was going to be that we failed to recognize that it was not the right fit for him – nor for us as a family.
This experience led us to re-evaluate the high school years and whether the Challenge program truly fits our family’s vision of a classical Christian education. It has also led us to re-evaluate the Foundations and Essentials programs for our family because our primary reason for participating in Foundations and Essentials rested in the promise of what the Challenge program holds. (Because we were never satisfied with the Foundations and Essentials programs, we built a framework of study with reading plans and other resources to transform it into something enjoyable and worthwhile for our family, and we even shared those ideas and resources through this website to help other families who also felt that the program was lacking.) Most importantly, we have felt that if our family is aiming to know God and make Him known, then we need to re-focus our homeschool on actually learning more about God and reaching out to others in the world around us.
In the past, we couldn’t fathom anyone ever stepping away from Classical Conversations. We chose Classical Conversations because we thought it was the best academic option for our family. We thought it was the superior program for a superior education, and it would equip our students with a passion for Truth, a love of learning, and a lifetime of success in their endeavors. But now we realize that over time, our family had drifted farther from Truth in pursuing this course of study. We also realize that families don’t step away from this program just because they’ve given up on doing hard things. The reality is that God calls different families to go different directions at different times for different reasons. It’s part of fulfilling our function in the body of Christ. Sometimes… the hardest thing is to swallow your pride, turn away from the familiar, and allow God to work the new thing in your life. (Isaiah 43:18-19)
This has been a difficult decision – the most difficult we have faced along this journey. It was only through many tears and prayers that we finally surrendered to God’s leading in our lives. Although it has been painful and humbling, I am thankful that we’ve been willing to take this leap of faith. We’ve experienced multiple affirmations during the past few months that have helped us to accept that God is leading us down another road now. God is indeed doing a new thing in our family. It has been a joyful year of learning for us, and we’ve drawn closer to God and to each other.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11
A few years ago, it was easy for me to look ahead to the future and think I had it all under control. Little did I know that I had not actually figured out what God was doing in our lives “from beginning to end.” Looking back now, this year has been the best year we’ve had. Our son’s personality and love of learning has returned as he’s had time to pursue some personal (academic and extracurricular) interests in addition to his classical studies. Our family is unified in our school days, and our hearts are drawn towards God as we seek to learn and discover more about Him. Without taking a break this year, we would have never realized that there were options that better suit our family.
Your family’s experience with Classical Conversations may be much different from ours, and that’s okay! God leads parents to direct the education of their children to serve His purposes. Because our family had been such advocates of CC in the past, we felt the need to be transparent about our own experience.
Our family’s mission remains to assist, equip, and encourage your homeschool family regardless of which curriculum, program, or method you choose to pursue. That’s always been the vision behind this website and will continue to be our vision for as long as God gives us the opportunity to be a part of your lives. As fellow homeschool parents, we’re here to help in in any way we can!