bloom
/blo͞om/ n. a flourishing, healthy condition; the time or period of greatest beauty, artistry, etc. -v. 1 to produce or yield blossoms 2 to flourish or thrive 3 to be in or achieve a state of healthful beauty and vigor 4 to glow with warmth or with a warm color.
Today, I’m going to lay my heart on the line to be frank with you. A few months ago, I took on too much; I ended up spreading myself too thin, and, as a result, my joy withered. For real.
Yep, I’m afraid “bloom” is not a word that would describe our home for the past few months. My state of mind has been in ultra-clutter-and-chaos mode as I try to juggle one (or one-two-three) too many things. I’ve not been in a state of rest even when I’m asleep!
I’m no stranger to this trap. In fact, I’ve faced (multiple) Humbling Reality Checks, feelings of failure, and times of intense discouragement. It’s times like this that I start to ask myself the super tough questions.
- Is perfectionism preventing me from enjoying this season in my life?
- Am I allowing what others do inspire me, or am I falling into the trap of comparison?
- Can I deny my self (tasks, ambition, pride, goals) to allow rest into my schedule?
- Are my days filled with joy or obligation?
- Are my priorities in the right place? What really matters?
Quite often as homeschooling moms we can get discouraged and overwhelmed by suffocating expectations and misplaced priorities. We allow perfectionism and comparison to take root in our hearts, and our joy fades. And while my most recent struggles have not been in the homeschooling realm, I have been dealing with some great-big-ole joy stealers in other aspects of my life.
Sometimes… we need a boost to encourage us to thrive in this journey. We need a reminder that our strength comes from God – and that He has been and will continue equipping us for this parenting journey! Let’s grab our journals and respond to some thoughts over the next several days/weeks (specifically written here in first person because I am asking myself these same exact questions!). These are some prompts to discuss with your spouse or with another mom – or even your children!
- What lies and strongholds exist within my life that are trapping me in a state of perpetual dissatisfaction with myself? {Reminder: No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Our only hope is in Christ Jesus, our Strength and our Redeemer.}
- Do I feel the need to be perfect and have it all together? Why? (Is there an issue of pride in my heart? Or just a fear of failure? Is fear a form of pride? Is my perfectionism preventing me from trusting God?) Perfectionism is a dangerous stronghold that prevents us from finding joy in our homeschooling journey. Worrying about what others think of our family often prevents us from actually connecting with our family. And… it prevents us from connecting to other families in a real and genuine way. Perfectionism perpetuates feelings of failure not only in us, but also in others (other moms or our own children) because… no one is perfect!
- As I look around at others, do I feel like I’m not enough? Is Instagram or Pinterest or any other social media causing me to see all that I’m not doing? Comparison can drain and deplete the joy from our lives so quickly! If I’m perusing ideas and start to feel inadequate instead of inspired, it’s a sign that I may be falling into this trap of comparison. I may have to guard myself against this by “fasting” from social media. {Reminder: Out of everyone in the whole wide world, He selected me as the Mom of my children. He who began this work in me will complete it – He will finish what He started! I am called to simply trust in Him.}
- Have I set up pillars and boundaries for our homeschool? Have my husband and I written down a vision or mission statement for our homeschool? (What do we hope to achieve with homeschooling? Where do we want our children to be in 15 years?) What are the foundational principles (pillars) for achieving our ultimate vision in homeschooling our children? What are boundaries we can set in place to protect those pillars from crumbling? {Reminder: We cannot say yes to everything! We have to set boundaries. A good book to read about this very thing is The Best Yes.}
- What type of daily rhythm do we need to establish to keep our foundational pillars in place? What is the difference between a routine or rhythm as opposed to a strict schedule?
- What are some ways I can truly rest and replenish my soul?
- Am I an angry person? What circumstances trigger a response of anger in my heart? Why? How can I recognize anger when it’s rising?
- Do I face ongoing negative feedback about homeschooling? How can I manage ongoing needs and outside opinions from the naysayers? What is my “why” for homeschooling? (This is so important! During tough times when I feel discouraged and depleted, I refer back to the vision we wrote down at the beginning of our journey.)
- Who is our “master gardener?” Where do we place our trust when we have no control over our circumstances? Truly, our ultimate joy is found in Jesus Christ.
It’s easy as homeschool moms to allow the more pressing immediate needs of our children and homeschools to take precedence over our own self-care and open-heart study. Here’s an opportunity to come together with your spouse, your family, or with other moms to take a proactive step in safeguarding our minds, hearts, and homes from these issues, and to prevent those feelings of hopelessness and burnout that can cause us to feel like just giving up on this homeschooling thing. If you’d like to join us in a more personal way, please feel free to leave a comment, email us at halfahundredacrewood@gmail.com, or join the Half-a-Hundred Acre Wood Facebook Community Group!