A mother’s journal entry on March 12, 2012:
“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” -Jeremiah 33:3.
My son chose this as his favorite Bible verse at the beginning of this school year. And after months of deep questioning and analysis on his existence, he called upon the name of the Lord to receive Jesus this day, March 12, 2012.
It’s natural that we as Christian parents long for the day our children accept Christ as their savior. Sometimes it happens when we don’t expect it, or when we’re not sure that our children are really coming to a full knowledge of Christ, or when we are simply swimming in our own sea of doubts.
With our middle child, it was so casual I didn’t even realize it. I was cooking when he called down from our loft, “How do I ask Jesus into my heart?” In the midst of my cooking, I responded with, “Well, you just say, ‘Jesus, I need you. Please come into my heart.’” After a few moments of mumbling, he said, “Jesus is IN MY HEART now!” He was only four years old at the time, so in my own preconceived notions of how it should all play out, I really didn’t think much of it. I didn’t even write down the date. But what I thought was just a cute happenstance actually played itself out in a young life full of faith. Really, that boy has shown more faith than most adults (including me). He loves his Bible and does not feel content unless I read it to him every night. He gazes at the stars beyond his bedroom window and talks to God. He can’t go to sleep unless I pray with him and for him. And when I struggle with life, he always points me back to Jesus. Since that day, there has never been any question for him: Jesus is in his heart. He has such incredible faith and insight – and he’s only six years old!
On a different note, the days leading up to our oldest son’s decision for Christ were filled with our own self-doubt and anxiety as parents. Being of an analytical mindset, our son asked the most difficult questions possible. He wanted answers that we could not give. We could only testify to what God had done in our own lives and how we had come to a knowledge and acceptance of God’s indescribable gift, His Son Jesus Christ.
As part of our studies for the year, we’d been talking a bit about creation and evolution, natural selection, uniformitarianism, and catastrophism. All big words. All big ideas that take serious thought. Who would think that an 8 year old would even ask such questions? It was all being weighed in the balance of my son’s heart and mind. Because he is such an analytical child, it was so difficult for him to believe just by faith without concrete proof that he could lay his hands on.
I prayerfully wept. Many, many times. I was scared that he would reject Christ because of his questions and his doubts. I finally just had to trust that it was all in God’s hands and help my son to see that I did not have all the answers and at times struggle with doubt myself. After releasing the weight of my son’s salvation and just trusting in God’s promises, Decision Day came. Late one night after his brothers were asleep and he had been lying in the dark for a while, that oldest son came downstairs where I was reading my Bible, looked up at me as his eyes adjusted to the light and said, “I want to ask Jesus to come into my heart.”
And so he did.
When it happened for my oldest son, I was actually… shocked. It was what I had hoped for, prayed for, longed for. And now I was the only one to witness it. It was the culmination of many different studies, many different talks, many different people, and many different seeds that had been sown throughout his life. In the end, the proof he so desperately sought was found in the marvelous design of the complexity of this world – and in the form of testimonies – of mine, his father’s, and those who have crossed his path over the course of his young life.
I think back to that verse that he wrote out as his favorite verse at the beginning of the year. My son spent the whole year searching out God. He called, and God answered. God told him the great and unsearchable things that he did not know.
Every person who has lived their faith out in front of my children has played a part in their salvation. Every person who has looked into their faces to show them the love of Christ has sown a seed in their eternal lives. Every Sunday School Teacher, every nursery worker, every Bible school helper, every song, every story, and every smile played a part in the most important decision of their lives. You never know when you are sowing those seeds – it can be the teaching or reading of a story, or the props and backdrops for VBS, or the one puppet you sewed for the church puppet ministry. It can be the grace you show to imperfect children. Or the grace you show to an imperfect mom. It can just be a word, or a song, or the light in your eyes, or the look on your face. God uses these things to make Himself known to the world around us.
So, to all who have sown seeds in our children’s lives – seen and unseen, known and unknown – we can never, ever thank you enough.